I’m neither beneath or above anyone. I am independent of other people’s positive or negative opinion. I’m fearless in the face of all challenges.
My therapist gave me this wisdom from a Sufi teaching. I try to keep it in mind, but sometimes when my ego takes charge, it’s easy to forget.
“Competition while making art doesn’t work,” that’s what my partner-in-storytelling, Eileen Dougharty, said to me today. She worried about what my reaction would be.
It landed perfectly. We knew what had to happen next.
When I was new to competing in story slams, I was terrified but willing to face my fear and do it anyway. Then, I got better at it, more comfortable, more confident, and with that I became much more competitive.
A dark part of me, my inner critic, made herself known by judging the winners, and comparing myself to them, thinking, “my story was much better than theirs, why didn’t I win?” I didn’t keep those petty, sad thoughts to myself. I shared them with the judges, and some of my storytelling companions. I was a masterful sore loser.
My wise friend, Eileen, said to me today, “comparison is the thief of joy.” I wasn’t a joyful storyteller. I was angry and small.
I started winning occasionally, but winning fueled my competitive side, until this past September, when I told my story, “True or False?” at a live slam. My performance was fabulous. My timing was perfect, everything flowed. I left space for laughter and applause. It was a personal triumph. I went over the 4-minute time limit by 2 seconds and was disqualified. And for the first time, I didn’t care, because I knew I wrote a great story and did a great job. In my heart, I was a winner.
The competition in my local slam and the Moth were my only models. I recreated that here at Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam!
We want you to know that we’re reframing this project to support the community and culture we want to create. Why?
Because each of us is unique. Each of has a life story. Who are we to decide what a winning story is? How can we judge the value of another person’s life experience or how they want to tell that story?
Everyone who told a story this weekend was a winner. Every single woman on our virtual stage.
Competition feels like part of the patriarchal construct. It doesn’t feel feminist at all. That’s not what we want to put forth.
We’re still asking people to tell a four-minute story. We can get a taste of their life experience, and it might leave our audience wanting to know more about the people who told the stories that touched them the most. They might want to read more of that storyteller’s work. Promoting writers was a primary reason for starting this project.
We’re keeping the timer, but it won’t be used as a measure of who wins and who loses. Its only job is to provide structure and the challenge of telling a complete story in 500 words, give or take. And if you finish in 4 minutes, give or take, that’s great. No winning, no losing.
It teaches, as writers, how to edit to the essence of what we want our audience to know.
The stories must be true, personal, and about the storyteller. How that writer goes about telling it is up to them.
Changes:
There will no competition. No voting.
There will be no cash prize.
No more distracting virtual backgrounds.
The slam will be presented in a regular Zoom meeting instead of the glitzy webinar format I wanted to showcase my design work.
The audience will have their video on. We want the storytellers to see the audience clapping and smiling.
The chat will be open. The audience should be empowered to express their enthusiasm, to quote lines, to show their admiration and gratitude.
There will still be a souvenir program because I love designing them. I want to offer a memento to anyone who’d like one. It gives me joy.
There will still be silly “checks” from Slamone that are paid from a fund of love and appreciation. The audience won’t see them. They’re for the storytellers.
We will continue to link to every storyteller’s stack to support building readership.
If storytellers want to support this project as paid subscribers, that’s up to them. They’re giving us their work and their time, and we’re grateful.
We hope this new direction will encourage more women to come play and share their life stories with us when they no longer have to concern themselves with beating the clock to win a prize.
We’re creating a supportive feminist community. We want learn from one another and grow as individuals. We want to celebrate your stories and tell some of our own.
The “win” comes from signing up, showing up, and telling our lives.
My Body, My Rules.
Eileen was the opening act. Scroll down to see all the stories.
The Storytellers:
If you love a particular story or all of them, and want to find out more about each writer, or subscribe to their stack, click the button under their bios.
I told the last story of the slam, and then I had a little private cry. Relief, that most of it went well, but was laser-point focused on doing a blow-by-blow inventory of myself, where I fell short, and where improvements will be made. Let’s just chalk it up to perfectionist fretting that needs to be taken to a 12-step meeting, pronto! Originally I exercised my prerogative to rerecord my story because I could.
That’s not honest, was rooted in shame.
I’m posting the original version now. I want to illustrate that even someone who’s been doing this for 10 years can have a bad night, and it’s not a reflection of talent or worth.
There’s no shame in this. Sometimes that’s a hard thing for me to remember.
You can attend any slam live (12 of ‘em) if you reserve early, or in replay by becoming an annual paid subscriber because the replays will be for paid subscribers only.
You’ll get 2 shows for free and support this project at a time when building community is essential to our well-being as feminists and women everywhere.
We’re speaking up, we’re speaking out, and we need you to help us do that!
Help us get the word out about our format change by restacking. Thanks!
Please comment below and give generous shout-outs to all the storytellers for their wonderful courage and powerful tales. They took a chance and graced us with their brilliance.
Our next show is February 21, 2026 on Zoom. The theme is The Love Boat. That should be fun! Stay tuned for more details.
