Enter Slamone!
Our muse speaks.
Bonjour, mon petit chatons! Slamone here. I have been getting a bad rap around in these parts for being a slacker. C’est vrai, I’ve been spending a majority of my time at cafes, smoking and sipping coffee with my graph paper and my fountain pen. I prefer to do my writing by hand out in the world, I can’t be bothered to “live online.” In my defense, I applied for the job of MUSE…you didn’t think that meant I would show my face on a regular basis? MUSE sounds like a remote gig if ever there was one.
For March, however, I am making an exception. The theme for le slam is ERA Now, DAMMIT. As a preeminent voice for feminism and author of “The Second Sex,” I felt like the time was right for me to chime in. In my native France, things are decidedly more progressive; did you know that in 2024 France became the first country to include the right to an abortion in their constitution? Here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, the Olympic hockey brutes celebrate with Lame Duck à l’Orange, making disparaging comments about the women’s team, those dames should hit them in their petit pee-pees with their hockey sticks. Disgraceful!
I once mused, “Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she is said to imitate the male.” See, I MUSE like no other as far as gender inequality goes, that’s why I have this “job.” Certainly you have feelings on the subject, especially after witnessing two qualified women lose the presidency to the fake-tan crétin. Perhaps you have a story about gender injustice? Le slam has one opening for storytellers willing to tell a four minute personal tale revolving around this theme. You must be a writer who does not identify as male with a Substack publication to shout about. Let your voice be heard!
Surely you want to hear women’s voices and support them…I didn’t write that damn book for nothing. Your country’s State of the Union address requires a fact-checker for heaven’s sake, now is the time to tune in and get involved. I would bet the bottle of Johnny Walker I keep in my desk for special occasions (like days that end in “Y”) that you will be energized by hearing women talk about their fight for equality and their experiences with the lack there of. I will hand you over to Nan with the event details to follow, my work here is done.
À tout à l'heure! La Muse out!
Slamone
Slamone! Finally, I began to think people weren't going to believe you existed. But here you are!
Brava, my feminist diva! I hope you drop in more often. Eileen and I are not your only fans. Au revoir, ma chere. Send my best to JP. He looks a little disconcerted. I hope he's well. xo
Love it, Slamone, B! And here's to fact-checking!