Hey, Storytellers!
How it works at Wham! Bam! Thank you! Slam!
We’re thrilled you want to step up and tell us your dirty secrets, your poignant tales, and your fabulous fables. We’re dying to hear the story you’ve always wanted to tell, but haven’t yet because the forum was never right. We’re here and our eyes and ears are wide open. We’re sitting on the edge of our seats!
We want storytellers who’ve done this before. We want writers who’ve always wanted to be storytellers. We want writers who are scared…but want to do it anyway. We’re here to support you in taking our virtual stage.
You know we’re putting on a show, and we’ll be doing it once a month ‘til the end of time. Please be advised that the end of time might not be too far into the future the way things are going these days, but a girl can hope for the best. Always. We’re betting on a long run.
Here’s the breakdown:
1 story…must be true. And remember, a little hyperbole never hurt anyone. Exaggeration is your friend.
4 minutes (we’re timing you). If you go over time, keep going and finish your story. You won’t qualify for 1st place…this time!
ZERO dicks (we mean of the male species, female dicks are welcome, as long as you’re not TOO dickish). We have to ramp up our attitudes. Get a little tougher, and then get really annoying. I guess we could call that CUNTISH. That’s what men call us when we act like them. They can dish it out, but they just can’t take it. Weenies. Zero DICKS.
We’ll give you a theme for the Slam, and you’ll write and tell an amazing story, and everyone will cheer and roar and stamp their feet!
The audience is your judge. They will be responsible for deciding who wins.
Because yes, there will be one winner. Yes, yes, you’re all winners, but the storyteller who gets the most votes will leave with $100. Who says writers don’t make the big bucks?
Serious stories are sublime. Funny stories are fantastic. Because, girls, we gotta keep laughing. We’ve cried so much already. Let’s get ANGRY. Let’s get SILLY. Let’s get REAL.
To be a storyteller for Wham! Bam! Thank You! Slam!, you must be a writer on Substack with a publication…we want to promote your work.
When we say you must be a woman to compete, we mean if you identify as a woman, that’s all we need to know. If you’re enby, this is your place to shine. You’re always welcome.
ABSOLUTELY NO AI STORIES EVER. We’re smart and we will sniff you out and report you to the principal and then, you’ll have to stay after school every day for an entire year, without your devices. We’ll give paper and pencil, and you’ll have to write your stories the old-fastioned way. In longhand. We’re not fooling around.
After the show wraps, we’ll publish a post with all of the storyteller’s videos. We’ll send it out to our subscribers on WBTYS and to our personal stacks. You’ll be able to crosspost it, too.
You’ll sign a release giving us the right to share your stories on Substack and out in the greater (but not better) world. We’re planning on uploading to our YouTube channel. But we’ll get back to you on that.
Be outrageous. Be brave. Be scared, but do it anyway. Be your wonderful self. Be honest. We love you and we can’t wait to see you do your thing!
Support this adventure we’re having together by becoming a paid subscriber. Not [wo]mandatory, but we’re grateful for your commitment to women’s storytelling.
Want to tell a story? C’mon, you know you do…push the button and tell us you’re in.
Need to see our slate of themes, first? You’re going to want to do it even more.
