Slamone Talks Mothers & Daughters
And Nan makes me official. Voilà!
“There is no such thing as maternal “instinct.” The word does not in any case apply to the human species. The mother’s attitude is defined by her total situation and by the way she accepts it.”
A quote from The Second Sex, my groundbreaking text about feminism. In 1949, these were revolutionary thoughts. Some may find them a bit harsh even today. But the point I was trying to make was that being a mother is a fine choice, but it is just that: A CHOICE.
Even the most excited new mother isn’t microchipped with a guide book. Sure, one can leaf through What To Expect When You’re Expecting, attend classes, and listen to well meaning elders, but inevitably you take a brand new human home and your one job is to keep it alive. Daunting.
What if that’s a job you didn’t choose or want? In 1949 women were not only expected to be fruitful and multiply, they were expected to bask in the glow of doing the selfless work of mothering. I know I could not imagine compromising my freedom in such a fashion. Children can sense when they are considered to be an obligation.
Even the most seemingly devoted mothers slip into being overbearing on occasion. You can’t spell SMOTHER without MOTHER, as they say. It’s a slippery slope to be involved and supportive and manage to give a girl some space to fuck up and learn things on our own terms. Your way ain’t always the right way, Mommy Dearest. It’s just your wire hanger-less way.
“I’m not against mothers. I am against the ideology which expects every woman to have children, and I’m against the circumstances under which mothers have to have their children.”
What can I say? I was on a roll. Still holds true.
The bond between mothers and daughters can be quite powerful. The mere notion of creating a tiny replica of oneself and then setting it out in the world is wild. How do you honor their independence and let them make their own mistakes? How do you sidestep thrusting your unfulfilled dreams down their throats? How do you get them to make a sex tape so your whole family can benefit by gaining fame for doing nothing?
I think that last one is only directed at Kris Jenner. I digress.
Because the world has been stingy with treats of late, I’d like to call to your attention that our fearless leader Nan Tepper has honored me with place not only in her heart, on her masthead, but on her person, as well. On her left forearm, to be exact.
Please note my knowing smile.
The Mothers & Daughters themed slam was one of the first to fill up as far as storytellers wanting to share, presumably because everyone has a mother. Some have daughters. Some stories are comical, some get complicated. Each is a unique swirl of the two women involved. Come experience it for yourself on May 16th at 5 pm EST.
^^^^^^ Look at them. These mothers. Do you think they’re happy? ^^^^^^
Could be. I shrug and grimace in my tres Français way. My guess? They might want to write a book about overthrowing the patriarchy; the patriarchy that only wants the servitude of women and the breeding of more servants to their evil plans. The mère-fuckers.
